It happened. You know. The freak-out. When you realize that maybe you should have majored in something else and what are you going to do in a year and how can college be over and who the heck is going to hire you…Pardon me, I’m getting a little ahead of myself. Let me rewind…
At this point in many of our lives, we’re finishing up college and starting to think about what we actually want to do post-grad. Where to live, who to live with, what to do? While our early-twenties are certainly one of the best times of our lives, they’re also stressful x10 billion. So many new questions and real concerns are popping up that we never thought about before the real world was looking us right in the eyes. Ah, remember middle school when your biggest concerns were which Birkenstocks you would wear with your So-Lows and hoping that your besties would decorate your locker for your birthday so you didn’t look like a loser with an undecorated locker? I know I’m not the only one who thought those concerns were very valid at the time. No shame.
Now, Birks and locker-decoration are sounding pretty good. ‘Twas a simple life I led. Concerns didn’t usually have long-term consequences, even if I thought they would. But now, the decisions that we’re making are too real. Where we choose to live in a year may be where we live for the rest of our lives. The jobs we start in, even if my mom tells me that they’re not always permanent, seem pretty-freaking-crucial in determining our financial and emotional fates. Similarly to last year, I’m fixin’ to go on another rant, this time about all of the thoughts going through my mind (and hopefully yours too—tell me I’m not alone!) as I enter my senior…year…of…college.
What the hell am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to know what I want to do?
It’s okay Gabby, no one expects you to know exactly what you want to do yet. People don’t figure it out sometimes until they’re in their 40s.
But I don’t want to be one of those people who take forever to find a job that they love.
I just want to be happy.
I hope my parents respect my job, even if it wasn’t a job when they were growing up. Like, how will they react if I tell them I’m a social media manager? They already hate how much I use social media and run up our data plan and think it’s dumb. They’ll literally think I’m making up a job…
I want to make money. I live a nice life right now and would like to maintain that.
But Dad said that being #poor in his 20s was one of the best times of his life.
I’d rather be rich in my 20s, TBH.
If I want to be rich in my 20s, then I shouldn’t live in New York. Where else can I live…
Wow, why would anyone choose to live in New York? Because we’re all insane.
Okay, what job will make me financially stable…no, what job will make me happy?
*Side Note* Kid Cudi phrased it well: I’m on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shine ain’t always gonna be gold and I’ll be fine once I get it, I’ll be good.
I love (fill in what you actually love and would do if money weren’t an issue) but I don’t think I’ll make much money doing that.
Do I even have the right skill set to find a job in that field?
I never took a class in (fill in the skill that you lack here). Is passion and interest enough to get me a job? Probably not, when other candidates have passion and interest and actual skills.
Will I have to go to grad school?! That was never part of my plan! I’m DONE with school. 17 years is enough.
Calm down Gabby, you have one more year of school, take advantage of it and take the classes that you want to take. After you finish the f#$*ing core, that is. Ugh.
Why were there so many core requirements in college? Because I spent 80% of my time taking classes I had 0 interests in, I feel like I know nothing about what I actually like.
Okay, so I can take a class in (fill in what you actually enjoy) and then I’ll have the skills necessary to apply for the jobs that I actually want!
Aaaaand then I have to actually get hired…
I’m very hirable. Look at me; I’m nice, I’ve done internships, I’m funny…
There are other people who have done so much more than you, though.
But you can’t focus on or control those people. So focus on yourself. Do what makes you happy. Do what you love. Money will come and go, but being happy is what truly matters. I don’t want my job to feel like a job. I don’t want to consider what my life would have been like if I’d taken a risk and done what I actually loved. Don’t be afraid to take a risk. What’s the worst that can happen?
Stop with this sentimental bullsh!t, Gabby. Here’s the bottom line: you’ll be fine. You and all of your friends will be fine. Maybe you’ll live with your parents and maybe you’ll be poor for a little bit but both of those are okay. That’s growing up. This inner monologue is the true representation of your inner child and adult meeting head-to-head. It’s about time.