Do you ever find yourself thinking, “hey, self. I wonder when ________ will happen/go out of style/be over/etc.” I find myself thinking that all the time. I know people say that it’s better to live in the present, but sometimes I can’t help but wonder when certain things will happen. Here’s a list of the things I’m waiting for…
I’m waiting for nutritionists to tell me that peanut butter is slowly destroying my body.
I’m waiting for nutritionists to tell me that my consumption of peanut butter is giving me a physical advantage over other people.
I’m waiting for someone to ask me why I can’t just stop eating peanut butter.
I’m waiting for heeled sneakers to go out of style.
I’m waiting for Justin Timberlake to realize that Jessica is not the right gal for him and that he has a feeling that the right girl is named Gabby and lives in Boston and is waiting for him.
I’m waiting for someone to tell us all that calories don’t actually matter.
I’m waiting for girls to stop wearing makeup to the gym. NO.
I’m waiting for someone to discover me and tell me that they want to pay me a bazillion dollars to just keep being me.
I’m waiting to win the lottery (but I’ve never actually bought a ticket so perhaps I should do that).
I’m waiting for someone to tell me that chai lattes have enough sugar in them to kill me. But they’re so good.
I’m waiting to get me the new iPhone. I’m not a huge tech person, but I want it. Please. It’s the fingerprint unlock that’s getting me. It seems too cool. Maybe it’s overrated. Eh.
I’m waiting for them to serve lentil soup everyday in the dining hall.
I’m waiting for some gentleman to realize that I’m the bomb and that he loves me ’til the end of time.
I’m waiting for my building to lose hot water one more time.
I’m waiting for someone to tell me that I’ve been dreaming the entire time and that I’m actually a baby and that I get to live my whole life all over again.
I’M WAITING FOR THIS STUPID FLY THAT HAD BEEN IN MY ROOM FOR A WEEK TO DIE.
I’m waiting for my roommate to kill the fly.
I’m waiting for the dining hall to deliver veggie burgers to my room each and every night. They’re like crack.
I’m waiting for something really bad to happen to me. This is solemn, I know, but it’s true. Thus far, life has dealt me a fairly easy hand, so I’m waiting for something to go horribly wrong. Crossing my fingers that this doesn’t happen though…
I’m seriously waiting for the fly to die. It won’t stop buzzing at the window.
I’m waiting for the fly to realize that it spends its days trying to escape out of a closed window and that there is no hope.
I’m waiting for doctors to tell us all that quinoa is actually bad for us.
I’m waiting for nutritionists to discover that peanut butter is the key to happiness. I think I actually discovered that on my own.
I’m waiting to find out what I’m going to be when I’m older.
I’m waiting for my parents to cut me off. Mom and Dad, if you’re reading this, now is not the right time.
I’m waiting for super-skinny to be out and healthy to be in.
I’m waiting to get Mono. I’m in college and haven’t gotten it yet, which is great, but I know it’s coming.
I’m waiting to stop worrying about what might happen and start concerning myself with what is happening.
What are you waiting for?